Odio los domingos - primera parte. I hate Sundays - part one

(scroll down for the english version)

Odio los domingos con sus improductivas horas en la mañana y con sus largas y aburridas tardes. Puedo rodar durante el sábado porque me engaño para mantenerme ocupado, pero detesto los domingos porque salto de nada por hacer a todo por inventar.

Detesto tener tanto tiempo libre y tener que inventar lo que me mantenga ocupado o quizá despreocupado, odio tener tantas horas para pensar sin sentido y sentirme sin acción, demasiado tiempo para lamentar y anticipar; para deprimirme y martirizarme. Tengo pánico a los largos domingos de invierno porque es cuando más echo de menos.

Detesto los paseos a los centros comerciales, la hora del gimnasio, leer y ver películas por aburrimiento. Me deprime estar en casa esperando un plan y desesperando por no tenerlo. No me gusta sentirme solo y los domingos es cuando la soledad se presenta en todas los rincones, parece que solo ella esta disponible para mí.

No me gusta que sea domingo porque me doy cuenta que mi vida tuvo que cambiar un tiempo atrás, los domingos es cuando cuando descubro que lamentablemente todo sigue igual, cuando siento que estoy demasiado lejos de donde quisiera estar.

English version.

I hate Sundays, their mornings are unproductive and their afternoons are long and boring. On Saturdays I do the tasks that I didn´t get around to doing during the week or I don´t mind just hanging around and relaxing. But, I hate Sundays because I can´t find anything to do, even though I know that there are many things I could do to change this situation.

I hate having so much spare time and having to invent things to do in order to keep myself busy or to keep myself from worrying. I hate having so many hours to think about things that don´t even make sense and to feel that I´m not doing anything about it; too much time to regret and anticipate; too much time to be depressed and to agonize over my thoughts. I panic at the thought of the long winter Sundays because that's when I feel this the most.

I hate walking alone in the shopping centres, the hours in the gym, reading and watching movies just to cure the boredom. It depresses me to be at home waiting for a plan and desperate because I don´t have one. I hate feeling alone and Sunday is when loneliness comes in all corners; it seems that she, loneliness, is the only one available for me.

I don´t like when it´s Sunday because I realize that my life had to change a while ago, Sunday is when I discover that unfortunately everything is still the same, when I feel that I'm too far from where I want to be.